EIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES. 111
assiduous in paying them, and never failed, when the judges were sitting, to
exert his stentorian lungs under the windows of the Court-house. This he did
with such success, that at length both judges and practitioners, having lost all
patience, collected amongst themselves a sum of money, which they deemed
sufficient to purchase an exemption in future from these provoking visitations.
Lauchlan pocketed the fee, and promised faithfully not to let his voice come
within hearing of the Court in future. He no doubt intended to keep religiously
by the letter of his agreement, but at the same time mentally calculated upon the
eclat, if not the profit, of outwitting a whole court of lawyers. Accordingly,
next day he was seen at the usual spot with a huge bell, to which he gave full
effect by a scientific movement of &he a m that would have done credit to the
most experienced city bellman. Many wondered at the sudden change in
Lauchlan’s mode of announcing hie presence; but he explained this by
facetiously remarking, that “having sold his mun tongue to the judges, he was
under the necessity of using another.”-The ingenuity of Lauchlan was rewarded
by an additional douceur, coupled with the condition, which he scrupulously kept,
that in future there was to be an absolute cessation of his visits in that quarter.
In the course of his peregrinations, Lauchlan offended a well-known civic
dignitary, Bailie Creech, one of the chief booksellers in Edinburgh, whose shop
was in the centre of the Luckenbooths. The Bailie felt his dignity lessened
by the contemptuous manner in which the Veteran of Culloden treated his
instructions not to bawl so unharmoniously in front of his shop. At last resolving
to compel obedience, he summoned Lauchlan to compear before the magistrates.
On the day of trial the defender fearlessly entered the Council Chamber, where
Creech sat in judgment. After the complaint had been preferred, and a volley
of abuse discharged by the an,- bailie, old Lauchlan, with an air of wellassumed
independence, produced his discharge, and asserted the right which it
gave him to pursue his calling in any town or city in Great Britain, save Oxford
or Cambridge. The northern Dogberry was dreadfully vexed that in this way
his mighty preparation had come to nothing; and, after advising with the
ordinary assessor in the Bailie Court, the well-known Jams Laing, he found
himself compelled to dismiss the complaint. No fiooner had Lauchlan regained
the “crown 0’ the causey,” than a universal shout from the “callants” announced
the defeat of the Bailie ; while the victor, taking his station on the debateable
ground in front of the shop, commenced with renewed vigour, the obnoxious
cry of “R-r-r-roasting toasting jacks.” This was repeated so often that
even the penurious Mr. Creech was compelled to purchase a cessation of
hostilities.
Notwithstanding all his popularity, however, poor Lauchlan found himself,
at the long age of ninety-six, possessor of more fame than fortune. It is possible
that his own tippling propensities, and consequent want of economy, may have
had some share in producing this disastrous result. On one occasion the late
Mr. Smith, lamp-contractor for the city of Edinburgh, was the means of saving
’
112 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES.
the poor fellow’s life, having found him fast asleep, in a cold wintry night
among the snow near the Meadow Cage.
Finding old age and frailty stealing upon him, in 1805 Lauchlan made an
unsuccessful application to the Marquis of Hastings, then Earl of Moira, who
was at the time Commander-in-Chief of the Forces in Scotland, to obtain a
pension in consequence of the long period of his service. Starvation or the
workhouse were now the veteran’s only alternatives. His philosophy preferred
the latter, and the interest of some friends procured him admission to the
Charity Workhouse. One would have thought that his weatherbeaten hulk had
at length found a quiet haven-but no ! genius, it has been remarked, is always
young, and the adventurous spirit of the warlike son of Mars could not subside
into inglorious quiescence. Old Lauchlan, at the age of ninety-six, was turned
out of barracks for an amour! The tender-hearted old nurse of the establishment
-some twenty years younger than himself-had shown him kindness during an
illness, ministering to his wants, and sometimes sitting at his bedside, receiving
with greedy ears his stories
“ Of moving accidents by flood and field,
Of hair-breadth ’scapes in the imminent deadly breach.” . . . . “His story being done,
She gave him for his pains a world of sighs.”
One day, one unpropitious day, an evil eye beheld the simple pair at their feast
of sympathy, and such proceedings not being in accordance with the rules of the
establishment, they were both expelled. What could a man of spirit do in
such a dilemma ? Marriage could alone testify his gratitude to the gentle fair,
and his resentment of a harsh world‘s cruelty,
No. LIV.
THIS is a second Print of LAUCHLAN M‘BAIN, done in 1815. The cont.rast
in the “ altered gait ” of the two figures, is a striking illustration of the progress
of time. He is here represented, after his dismissal from the Workhouse, as
again employed in the disposal of his roasting-jacks ; but, alas ! the best of his
days were over. Like other geniuses, he found he had outlived his reputation j
and the useful implements in which he dealt, hardly enabled him to beat off
the wolf from his door. His wife continued to cling to him through all his
adversity, and it is said, helped to cheer the gloomy winter of his age and
fortunes. Lauchlan died in 1818, aged 102.
